Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Adventures in Plumbing: A Do It Yourself Story by Jess.

Our dishwasher wasn't draining, so I decided to fix it. I did it basically because I absolutely hate washing dishes and I'm not about to go one single day without a dishwasher. End of discussion. Dishwasher good, scrubbing by hand bad. Been there, done that, hated it.

So, how did I possibly fix the dishwasher (and I'm not positive it's fixed yet, I have to run a cycle and we'll see)? Well, first, I went under the sink and removed all the crap. Then, I wiggled the hose that comes from the machine and hooks into the sink. Note: do not under any circumstance pour any water into the side of the sink that the hose is attached to. Lesson learned the hard way, thank you very much. After that, I went in search of a flat head screwdriver so I could loosen the clamps that keeps the hose in place. You can guess what comes next.

Thinking ahead, I also empty out the garbage can because I don't have a pot big enough that would be able to hold all of the "mung" water that was in the bottom of the washer. I losen up the hose, pull it off, cram the end of the screw driver down it, wiggle it around a bit, and then lower the hose so gravity does all of the draining work. Whoo hoo! It works! Water starts draining forth from the hose! I feel like a plumbing god and I want to call anyone and everyone! Unfortunately, no one was home except for Jed and he was half asleep so he wasn't very enthusiastic about my newly found plumbing powers. After about 10 minutes, the tub is drained. It doesn't tell me why the thing didn't drain but after much thought, I'm thinking that the pump may be going out. Possibly, maybe? I am normally pretty good at diagnosing car problems (fixing not so much but I'm a car diagnostic goddess... just ask Casey). So yeah.

If it does this again I may consider replacing the pump and quite possibly the solenoid depending on how much a solenoid for a dishwasher costs. I know for a Buick LeSabre (circa 92?) it costs about $20. So makes me wonder how much it would cost for a dishwasher that looks like it's circa 1980 something.

We'll see. Maybe I'll try calling the 800 number on the machine just to find out. Later, though. Now I must go pick up Lily.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Fun Family Gathering?

This is what happens when you decide to have a sit down, formal dinner with roughly 50 people (about 15 of which were kids) in the multi-purpose room at a Retirement community.

The Pro's: The food was fabulous and the company was great.

The Con's: The young ones were restless and took it out on each other by taking turns tying each other to chair with the napkins.

Ah, the joys of being a bored adolescent.

There is no Bonzai, there is only Zool...

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

How stupid can one person be?

The answer to the question is pretty stupid. BUT, the person who was pretty stupid was not me. Once again, however, I let my inner bitch out for a bit of freetime.

Storytime! This afternoon, around 5:30, I was taking the trash around to the alley (tomorrow is trash day, so it had to get done). As I was walking back onto the porch, I noticed this shiteous green Ford Escort driving slowly down the street. In front of our house, with me on the front steps, this complete dumbass throws a McDonald's bag out onto OUR lawn! WTF?!?! Naturally, being pregnant, grumpy Jess who just took the trash to the curb, I yelled "ASSHOLE!!" at the top of my lungs. I watched the car drive a bit further down the road and then pull into the small apartment 4-Plex that is at the end of our street. Not really thinking it through, I ran and got the McDonald's bag off the lawn and walked as quickly as I could down to the car and the apartments. I reached them just as one of the men from the car was getting out to go up to one of the apartments. I knew he had been the passenger of the car, so I handed him the bag and in a very calm and stern voice told him "Please tell your friend to take his trash and throw it in his own damn yard."

And then, I walked away. I left the guy dumbfounded. Or who knows, maybe he was just dumb to begin with. In any case, I felt very proud of myself. Until I saw the exact same McDonald's bag blowing down the street not 3 minutes later. Stupid people. And the worst part was that his car was completely trashed anyway so it's not like another McDonald's bag would have added to his disaster. Dude, I know. I got close enough to his car to see it! WTF??!!! Why choose that particular bag and my particular lawn to litter on? It makes no sense in my brain.

Stupid stupid people.

Nesting: Part 2

Today I completely rearranged Lily's room and gave it a good (and necessary) spring cleaning. Casey got home after a hard days work and decided that he needed a project too. So, we are putting a door to block off the upstairs, seperating the upstairs and downstairs. This will make our winters more economical.

Unfortunately, the project is easier said than done. The threshhold turned out to be quite uneven. So uneven that when we put the door there, it wouldn't even shut. The door is even, the threshhold however, slopes down making a good two-three inches where the door should be and where the door is. Insert mess making and a lot of "Freakin' Monkies!" here. (We're trying to watch our language.)

Thankfully, Lily's room isn't a disaster area. So we have one room to completely chill out in.

Back to work, pictures soon to follow.

Jess, the tired Insomniac.

I am Jack's insomniatic mother. I am so tired at this point I want to go to sleep but can't. I even watched dull movies and was unable to lull myself to sleep. If the video store was open, I'd go rent Miami Vice on the recommendation from some dude that it is a good movie if you want to fall asleep. Too bad it's already 1AM... I have to get up in 6 hours. Yech...

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Monday, April 16, 2007

Ninja Kick!

A brief Baby Jack update for all of you who are curious. Today was another ob/gyn appointment. I escaped without having to have any more blood tests (for now). Happy Jess. Jack, on the other hand, was feeling a bit honery. He really dislikes the doppler! He dislikes it so much that he was actually kicking the thing! Kristen, the midwife, was laughing pretty good because she'd chase him down (he's sitting just behind my belly button apparently) and as soon as she got a good clear listen to the heart, he'd turn and you'd hear a couple of small thump! Thump! Thumps! Jack was doing his best David Beckham impersonation, methinks.

My blood pressure was a little high today. Thankfully, I can chalk that up to idiots that cannot drive. I almost got ran into twice on my way to the appointment this morning. All that in a five minute drive! Make sense to you? I swear, it gets some semblance of warm outside and people are just stupid. Stupid stupid stupid!

All is well, though. She took my blood pressure again before I left and it was already heading back down. Now, I'm off to have some lunch with my mom and my aunt, despite the fact that I am feeling quite... full? I feel kinda bloaty. Oh well, such is the life of a preggo.

Friday, April 13, 2007


Okay, so it looks like my big plan to clean the basement is a wash today. Mickie just called and she fell asleep shortly after we talked this morning, hense why she never showed up. With a little over an hour before I have to pick up the munchkin, I have decided to scrap the whole basement cleaning thing (I've done quite a bit today already) and just chill until I have to go to work.

Maybe now I can watch the movie I rented the other night...

Tweet tweet!

From www.pregnancyweekly.com:

Nesting Instinct
Around the fifth month of pregnancy, the "nesting" instinct can set in. This is an uncontrollable urge to clean one's house brought on by a desire to prepare a nest for the new baby, to tie up loose ends of old projects and to organize your world. Females of the animal kingdom are all equipped with this same need. It is a primal instinct. Just as you see birds making their nests, mothers-to-be do exactly the same thing.

The act of nesting puts you in control and gives a sense of accomplishment toward birth. You may become a homebody and want to retreat into the comfort of home and familiar company, like a brooding hen. The nesting urge can also be seen as a sign of the onset of labor when it occurs close to 40 weeks of pregnancy. Nesting brings about some unique and seemingly irrational behaviors in pregnant women and all of them experience it differently. Women have reported throwing away perfectly good sheets and towels because they felt the strong need to have "brand new, clean" sheets and towels in their home. They have also reported doing things like taking apart the knobs on kitchen cupboards, just so they could disinfect the screws attached to the knobs. Women have discussed taking on cleaning their entire house, armed with a toothbrush. There seems to be no end to the lengths a nesting mother will go to prepare for her upcoming arrival.
This unusual burst of energy is responsible for women ironing anything in the house that couldn't out run them. Being preoccupied with ant killing, squishing them one at a time for weeks on end. Packing and unpacking the labor bag 50 times. Cleaning the kitchen cupboards and organizing everything by size to the point that you make sure the silverware patterns match when it's stacked in the cutlery drawer. Sorting the baby's clothes over and over again is a favorite theme. Taking them out of the drawers and re-folding them, putting them away and doing it over and over again. Nesting will provide interesting stories for years to come...
Okay, while I haven't gone so far as to disinfect knobs, here's a list of things I've done so far this morning (I'm waiting for Mickie to show up because I'm scared to go in the basement by myself. Irrational, yes, but I'm allowed to be.):
  • Cleaned laundry room, including tops and sides of washer, dryer and laundry baskets.
  • Cleaned office, removed all trash and any evidence that Casey has been in the office playing Warcraft. You'd never know he'd been in here.
  • Reorganized Lily's desk, placing printer and fax machine next to each other, maximizing desk space.
  • Swept kitchen, living room and dining room floors. (Haven't mopped yet, that'll come after people leave.)
  • Three loads of laundry (one per hour since 9AM)
  • Two loads of dishes. One regular dishes, one pots and pans (they weren't dirty, I just thought they needed to be washed cuz they were kinda dusty).
  • Scrubbed counters, including appliances on counters (including emptying and scrubbing the crumb tray in the toaster)
  • Purchased new pair of maternity jeans out of sheer necessity... Dude, when you're wearing your jammies, take a bath and find you can no longer button your pants.. Yeah, it's time for a new pair of pants.
  • Cleaned off coffee table, got rid of irrelevant magazines.
  • Took out 3 bags of trash.
  • Took 2 loads of laundry upstairs to be put away (this takes several trips because I cannot lift a full big basket anymore).
  • Procrastinated on the internet.

And it's not even noon. Okay, it's 11:57, but hey... It's not even noon! Yeah me!


Shhh... Don't tell Casey but I'm cleaning out the basement today. SHHHHH!!!!

Oh, and I've got help, btw. Mickie's coming over to help so I won't be tackling it by myself.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Seperated at Birth?

Roughly 25 Customers at Hollywood Video agree...

We took a poll at work. Jack Stone is the coolest name ever. The overwhelming opinion is that Jack Stone will either grow up to be some sort of movie star or a private investigator. This is the part where I do the whole parent disclaimer thing and say that I'll be proud of Jack no matter what he does.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

A River in Egypt...

This morning when I took my bath, I noticed the first "Jack" stretch mark. Insert me slathering myself with cocoa butter here. I would pretend like it didn't exist, but yeah... I just can't. I don't know what was more amusing, me noticing the stretch mark or the fact that Jack just happened to be sitting about right where it was and me noticing that my belly was ackwardly protruding a bit in that area.

Ahhhh... Sleep!

Note: The picture is of Lily a couple of days ago. She had managed to kick off all of her covers and was curled up with what she affectionately calls "Casey Bear." You can see the half dozen other animals she keeps on her bed, too. We thought she was being very cute.

Last night I slept! I haven't had good, through the night sleep in about 3 days, so this was big for me. Granted, it was medically induced sleep, but I was to the point where I'd take anything! I have had this horrible cold since Thursday and Friday I started coughing pretty badly. Saturday I suffered through and then Sunday I decided to stay home and try and sleep. I managed a 3 hour nap Sunday afternoon. Nap was good, but interrupted by a certain 7 year old wanting to know if I would call McDonald's and tell them that they forgot to put a toy in her happy meal. Insert me being extremely pissed that the first really good sleep I had was interrupted and ejecting her from the room. I tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't, so I came down and vedged on the couch.

Monday I decided that the coughing was just too annoying and I didn't want a repeat of a cold turning into a bad sinus infection and/or bronchitis, so I called the doctor. I was squeezed in at 9:30 and off I went to have my lungs checked. No infection yet, doctor thought that one of the reasons I was still feeling crappy was the lack of sleep and prescribed me some codeine. I came home, took a nap, picked up Lily, picked up meds, came home, went to work for a couple of hours, came home and went to sleep! Yeah! SLEEP! I can't remember the last time I slept so hard!

And then the alarms started going off at 5:15. Note: I was out of bed before Casey and the alarms weren't mine. Silly boy. I love him but the three alarms and snoozing for an hour and a piece just drive me nuts. It's just one of those things, though...

I like sleep. I want to do that some more.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Jingle 7, Mice 1...sorta

Yesterday afternoon and today Jingle managed to catch two more mice. Well, actually, she's in the process of catching number 2. I am managing (despite constant screaming and couch-jumping on my and Lily's part) to blog the event as it goes down. Oh, and I also managed to get some video which I'll try and post later if I actually get around to it.

This afternoon's mouse catching escapade started with a loud thud and a crash in the kitchen. Me, having just purchased a very yummy strawberry cheesecake, thought "Shit! The dogs are getting my cheesecake!" So, I pause the show I was watching and run for the kitchen. Cheesecake safe. Phew! What was that noise, then? Jingle runs past me with something brown in her mouth. Oh YEAH! Jingle caught another mouse! That was when she put the thing down and unlike yesterday, where she instantly disabled the mouse so all it could do was run in circles, this mouse is raring to go and that's just what it does... it goes. And Jingle pounces.

Lily and I watched for about 20 minutes as Jingle attacked and batted the thing across the room. We squealed in horror and amusement as this poor mouse (which I have now decided has super-mouse endurance, seriously it's like the Wolverine of mice!) took Jingle's attacks. And then, the mouse did something unexpected. The mouse turned and looked her attacker right in the eye!

There, the brave mousey stood! Fur matted down yet parts of it bristling, mouse panting as if to say "Is that all you got?! Bring it, bitch!" And Jingle brought it, whacking it across the room, right into the side of my sketchers! I screamed in horror as the mouse climbed up my shoes which I so casually had left in the middle of the floor. I screamed even louder as the mouse climbed INTO my shoe! OH THE HORROR!!

In some sort of sick and taunting game much like that of "whack-a-mole", the mouse poked it's head out of my shoe. One could easily imagine it taunting Jingle as Jingle tried desperately to whack the mouse as it popped in and out. Jingle quickly lost interest, but I however still had a mouse in my shoe. Naturally, I tried to get the mouse out. I picked up the shoe, turned it upside down and began whacking it on the floor. The mouse came out and squeaked at me (yes, it SQUEAKED at me!) and I dropped the shoe, screaming, and ran for the couch. The mouse, poised on the top of the shoe, looked Jingle (who's attention had once again been piqued), who was no more than two inches from the mouse, reared up on it's hind legs and LEPT ONTO JINGLE'S FACE!!

I had honestly never seen such a brave or gutsy mouse!! Jingle was flailing her paws, trying desperately to fling the mouse from her face, which didn't really take that long, but the fact that the mouse jumped onto her face was truly amazing! WOW! The mouse fell or jumped off and ran behind the piano.

Shit. The mouse ran behind the piano. Okay, let's move the piano. Never mind that it took four people to move the piano into the house and all of them were grunting and groaning afterwards. Never mind that the piano weighs a freakin' ton! I channeled all the energy I had and pulled the piano away from the wall, grabbed Jingle and threw her behind it. Jingle kept getting out and going around to the other side of the piano which was against the wall. So, okay, pull the piano away from that part of the wall. I managed two inches and heard a loud squeak. Shit. After all that did I somehow manage to run over the mouse with the piano? That would be anti-climactic.
Thankfully, no, I did not run over the mouse. I saw it escape out from behind the piano, with Jingle still completely oblivious. So, I grabbed Jingle again and threw her at the mouse. Twenty minutes later, the battle spills over into the computer room and I have to temporarily run for the couch, screaming "GET THAT THING OUT OF THE COMPUTER ROOM JINGLE!!"

Jingle is currently still embroiled in battle with the grey fiend in the dining room. The thing has temporarily found refuge behind Casey's battery charger. I'll let you know how it turns out.

UPDATE: The brave and valient (and super-mousey possessed) grey fiend bit the dust and headed for the great wheel-o-cheese in the sky at approximately 3:OOPM EST. He put up a good fight and will probably be missed by his other mouse bretheren.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Human Anatomy

U.S. History

Your Literature Lesson of the day...

Geography Lesson

Found this and boy oh boy does it take me back... to when cartoons were actually fun and entertaining and you may actually learn something. ;-)


My pants didn't fit, so I bought a new pair. I'm down to one pair of jeans that is BARELY fitting, so I've got to hit the thrift store sometime this week to remedy the situation, but now I find myself in even more of a bind. Well, not so much of a bind as an extreme annoyance. I have put together a couple of outfits for the 50th anniversary party my mom is throwing my aunt and uncle. None of them fit. So, I am faced with the task of finding a dress to wear.

Not an easy task. I am finding that maternity dresses are either black or completely frou frou with bows and a polka dots or stripes. I have not been able to find anything that appeals to me at all. The black dresses are all so...blah and the frou frou dresses. Yeah, don't get me started there. I am going through an anti-froufy phase at the particular moment and I'd like to keep it that way for a while. Especially with the crap that I'm finding out there.

Why can't I find something sexy and stylish? Why can't they make a maternity dress that looks like it could be worn by a normal person just add a little bit of extra material around the belly. Oh, and make sure it doesn't look like a tent, either. Freakin' monkeys, do people not think that pregnant women go out? Yeah, the alcohol consumption is out of the question, but is it too much to ask for something that looks awesome?

Well, I should mention that I found a really awesome looking dress that I loved at duematernity.com, but sorry... I absolutely REFUSE to pay $80+ for a dress. Unless it's like an uber special occasion where I'm gonna be totally dolled up (hair, nails, etc..). Yeah, ain't gonna happen. No way, no how.

Over all, I have an overwhelming sense of YECH about the whole maternity fashion thing. I'm thankful that someone sent out a memo that baby doll style tops were back in fashion, so maybe I'll look at least a little fashionable, but yeah... I'm not impressed. In fact, I'm downright frustrated with the lack of petite pants, cute tops and most of all dresses. Coupled with the feeling that I look (and am starting to feel) like a cow, complete with breasts that don't seem to want to stop growing (not that I'm really complaining, but they do hurt and haven't stopped hurting for 4 months now) I think I'm having serious self esteem issues at the moment. I think tomorrow I will just hang around the house, watch some movies and attempt to paint my nails. Maybe I'll talk one of my friends into cutting my hair. Hair cuts always make me feel better.

Until then, however, I think I'll just mope.