Thursday, January 28, 2010

Trending topic: The I-Refuse-to-call-it-IPad

Well, there it is. Yesterday Apple unveiled their new IPad. While I was all "Oooh! Shiny!" (I'm still "Oooh! Shiny!" but now with a dose of the giggles and I'm actually contemplating practical applications as well.) at first I now find myself wondering what the hell I'd do with this thing?

I think I'd definitely use it for my email and watching videos. I also think it would make a neat digital photo album. I have been in love with iPhoto for years, though. I also foresee this actually being the one thing that converts me to ebooks. I have, in the past, not really liked ebooks. There's just something about reading lots of text (example: I read the first Sookie Stackhouse novel, Dead Until Dark, on my MacBook pre-screen dying) on a computer. I found it to be annoying as hell and after about half an hour it hurt my eyes. The ebook they were featuring on the demo video actually looked like the pages of a book. That, to me is cool. Granted, falling asleep with an $700 book on your lap is probably not the best idea and I do have a tendency to fall asleep reading. I can't count the number of times Casey has taken a book off my face or off my pillow and put it on the nightstand next to me.

I think the ebook thing will really catch on, especially if they start putting textbooks on it. I remember that in high school I would just carry around all my books because I wouldn't have time (5 minutes for a passing period?! C'mon!) to go to my locker and switch out books. Especially if my locker was on the far end of the first floor and my class was on the opposite end of the third floor. Students could just get their IPad, load their text books onto it at the beginning of the year, and then carry the 1.5 or 1.6 pound (depending on the model it's either 1.5 or 1.6 lbs) IPad to class. Add in a multitasking dealio where you could take notes directly on your IPad about what you're reading and that would completely revolutionize education. Not to mention think about all the trees you'd be saving if you could just write your homework on your IPad and then email it to your teacher!

I would like to use the IPad for presentations, but I have to find out if Numbers or Pages (the Mac equivalent of MSWord and Excel and Power Point) can run on the IPad.

What would I have liked to see included? Some sort of handwriting recognition where you could use a stylus on notepad and wha-la! It transfers. I would have also have liked to see some sort of blue tooth phone application or VOIP installed. Something where you could combine your IPhone and your IPad, not needing to carry around both. And they say that the IPad has a speaker built in, but does it have a headphone jack? I'll have to look into that.

Another thing that will be cool would be an art type program. Think sketch book. You could even call it iSketch. It would be another stylus-type program where you could draw directly onto the IPad with a stylus, have a palette on the side, you could choose brushes or whatever and then upload your works of art to the internet to either be printed or just viewed by the world. Or if you didn't want to go the uploading route, you could transfer them to IPhoto for your own private viewing pleasure.

Like I said, all my gripes are mainly software based. It's a really cool concept, but I really don't think it's quite there yet. I seriously think I'd spend the extra couple of hundred bucks and replace my MacBook before I bought an IPad. It will take a lot of talking and a few upgrades (the biggest of which the IPad seriously needs flash capabilities) before I actually shell out the cash for it.

Oh, and what's with the name? Apparently there are absolutely no women working in the upper ranks of Apple because IPad? Seriously!? My first thought, much like most of the women I follow on Twitter, was IPad- sounds like a maxi pad. One of the trending topics on twitter was itampon. Mr. Jobs should have gone with iSlate instead. Maybe, before it's released, they'll change the name. Until it does, I refuse to actually say IPad out loud simply because the giggles it garners. I'll be calling either the iSlate or the Apple Tablet. Yes, we live in a pretty immature society. We all love our fart jokes and PMS jokes. Personally, I like fart jokes better, but that's just me. I am pretty sure the next time I get my period one of my friends (if not several) will say something to the effect of "Need to borrow an ipad?" And I'm not even going to post the ipad skit from MadTV that came out a couple of years ago. I know it's been posted all over the place already, so yeah. If you haven't seen it, you can go and google it.

Thems my thunks, take 'em or leave 'em.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Take that, you evil 5 year old!

It's MLK Jr. Day. The big kid is home from school and the little kid is driving her ape shit. So, I decided to take them both to play with a friends' kids at the local Mickey D's. Not a bad plan. While the kids played, I conversed with my friend Michelle and enjoyed sitting back until a little bully pushed my happy-go-lucky, just wanting to run up the slide like the big kids, off the slide.

What?! A BIG KID (probably 5 or 6 years old) bullying my baby?! I don't think so! I left Michelle mid-sentence, stomping over to the sour faced little brat and pulled him away from the slide and in front of all the parents there I said, in an incredibly loud and booming mom voice that I normally only pull out when Jack is trying to kill himself, "You DO NOT push a two year old! He's TWO! You do not behave that way! What the hell is the matter with you?!" Yep, I asked a 5 year old kid (that I suspect had less of a vocabulary than Jack and had probably pissed his pants at this point) what "the hell" was his problem.

What was even worse? The mom that was in charge of this little brat didn't even step up to the plate. I proceeded to help Jack up the slide, the same way the bigger kids were going, and the little brat sulked off to the other end of the play place. He didn't even go crying to his mommy! I suspect that no one has ever talked to him like that simply by his reaction. It looked like a combination of complete and utter brattiness (the kind that says "You can't tell me what to do!") and oh-woe-is-me-I-just-got-yelled-at.

I don't understand parents today, I really don't. If I see my kid hitting someone (which I've seen Jackson hit kids on occasion at the playground), I promptly become mortified by his behavior and make him say he's sorry and I apologize not only to the kid, but the kids mother. This mother at the play place today didn't even bat an eyelash when I yelled at her kid. Not only that, but she didn't bother to stop the situation, despite the fact that she saw her kid pushing Jack. Too many times I've seen parents just say "Now, buddy, that's not nice! Don't do that!" And there are no consequences. Jack, had he been the aggressor, would have been put in a time out (he's too young for anything else) or we would have left immediately. There would be no wishy-washy stuff there. Jack starts being a butthead, I pack up the kids and we go home.

I just don't understand this crap where parents are letting kids run all over them! You're the parent! Your kids should have a healthy amount of not only respect, but fear for you. Lily even knows that when I pull out a certain tone of voice that she better do what I'm saying and if there is even any amount of attitude or complaining there will be severe consequences.

There is a reason my kids say please and thank you and do as I say. It's because I taught them to. Now, if Jack would get a little bit bigger, I can start him on chores...

Oh, and if any one is wondering, I have no qualms about yelling at other peoples kids in public. I have done this frequently. Just ask me about the time I took Lily to Chuck E. Cheese.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


I didn't make any resolutions this year. I find that I lack the follow through in that department. BUT I have decided that I'm going to try new things all around. I'm certainly far from my comfort zone on this one, too. Today I am making homemade pulled pork for dinner. It's supposed to take 8 hours in the crock pot (4 if I put it on high, which is probably what I'm going to end up doing). While I'm becoming a pro as far as the crock pot is concerned, I've never made anything more than crock pot stroganoff or crock pop chicken and dumplings and the occasional beef stew (those are my top 3 recipes that I'm really good at as far as crock pot cooking is concerned). Normally, when I work with pork, it's making pork chops and then I buy them pre-cut, ready to be seasoned and thrown onto the frying pan.

Pulled pork... that's a whole different beast. First, you find yourself 3 pounds of pork shoulder. Make sure it's boneless. Then comes the trimming of the pork shoulder. That was an interesting thing to do... not to mention kind of slimy. I took off all but a little bit of fat, because fat adds to the flavor when you're cooking it. (This is according to Miss Abigail, an excellent chef that makes her own barbeque sauce and has a southern cooking restaurant right up the street from my house.) Then, into the crock pot it goes and you poor the sauce all over it and let it sit. If you want the sauce, you'll have to go look up the recipe yourself. I got mine off Go, enjoy.

Also on the menu: homemade cole slaw, corn bread and I can't decide between baked beans and butter beans. Oh, and mac and cheese for the kids. Although, Lily likes butter beans. Heck, I like butter beans. They're tasty.

Yep, I'm being all sorts of domestic today! I'm also going to try and squeeze in a work out if I have time. It looks like I'm going to have to pick up the girls from school today since my neighbor isn't feeling well. She took Lily to school yesterday when my car was stuck in a snow bank so I figured why not? I owe her.

Note: pulled pork is smelling wonderful now that it's cooking. I'll keep you posted on whether or not it's yummy or not.

Monday, January 04, 2010

Well, that was colorful!

Today started off around 2:30 in the morning when I yelled down the stairs at hubby to get his butt to bed. There were sounds of warfare going on. It was the pokey-kind with swords, and the occasional swish of magic. No machine guns this time. There haven't been machine guns in a while, though. It's been all about the swords lately. I suppose 2:30 is better than the 4:30 that it has been the past few days, though.

At 4:15, Jackson started whimpering. I got up and did the whole good mommy thing of picking him up for a minute and then setting him back down and re-tucking him in. He went back to sleep. At 4:30 he started whimpering again. This time he started whimpering/chanting "di-per change!" It was horribly pathetic. So horribly pathetic that both Casey and I got out of bed. Casey headed downstairs for a diaper and wipes and I took on the task of removing the footy pajamas and diaper. And that was when I sent Casey back downstairs for the desitin and a warm washcloth. Jackson had diaper rash from hell. It was so bad, that he was screaming. We let baby air dry for a bit and then I put him back in his pull ups and had him crash in bed with us.

Twenty minutes later the alarm goes off. I get up, proceed to cuss at the downstairs and clean it up, muttering horrible things about how anything I find out of place from here on out is getting pitched out the window with the trash. This would be the perfect example of an empty threat.

Half an hour after that, neighbor kids show up. Calm ensues until 6:40 at which time I go upstairs and yell at Casey to get his ass out of bed, end of discussion. This was hilarious. Lily gets up and heads downstairs. She's in a good mood! Huzzah!

Kids have breakfast, everything is going smoothly, I get Jackson up and dressed, head outside to clear a path to the car (we got something like 2 inches overnight in addition to the crap we already had on the ground) and clear off the car. Takes 15 minutes, just the exact amount of time that I needed before we had to leave for school.

... And then one of the neighbor girls proceeds to puke on the floor. She had fruit loops for breakfast.

And then she does it again.

I start calling the grandma. Grandma not answering cell. "Hey girls, what's your dad's cell phone number?" "We don't know." Okay... call grandma's work place. Got the grandma. Grandma says take pukey mcpuke in the car while you drop the kids off and I'll find something. Um, no. Not taking pukey in the car. Don't want fruit loops on the floorboard of my clean car, thank you very much. I make arrangements for Lily to go to school with a friend, call the girls' uncle and says "I'm bringing her to you." And then, call the girls' school saying one is sick and the other is gonna be late.

On top of it all, the kitchen sink won't drain which lead me to some plumbing adventures leaving me smelling like draino. Um, yeah... I think I need that nap now? I'll do productive stuff after that nap. Yessss....

Goodnight moon!

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Whaddaya mean it's supposed to snow like 2 inches every single day this week?

I ventured forth today. I didn't really want to, but the dog needed food that was not the cat and the husband (despite the fact that he's supposed to quit tomorrow) desperately wanted a pack of smokes. I say desperately because he actually agreed to do the dirty work of clearing the 5-6 inches of snow off my car, defrosting and scraping the ice off the windshield of the car and starting the car so it would be all warm and toasty when I finally got out of my pajamas and into my Emus and jeans (and the other three layers that were on as well).

So, off to the store I went. The main roads weren't horrible but they weren't good either. There is a definite coating of slush on the street that leads me to the closest Walmart but I am happy to report that I didn't slide until I got to the parking lot and that was only because I had to break hard because a stupid idiot in a Ford SUV (Bronco?) decided to cut rather rapidly through the parking lot and came close to fishtailing into my newly repaired car. Insert me laying on the horn here and shouting massive amounts of cuss words at the rolled up windows. I'm hoping I at least looked rather impressively pissed off. I was wearing Casey's mad bomber hat, after all. That's always an intimidating hat. Haha!

Tomorrow Lily goes back to school and Casey goes back to work. This means Jack and I will be on our own for the first time in a couple of weeks. I must call Mariah and find out if I have to pick the kids up tomorrow from school or if we go back to our Monday through Thursday she brings Lily home and then I pick the kids up on Friday. I'm hoping that's the case and I only have to take the kids to school because that means I get to come home and Jack and I get to have a tickle fight on the bed and then have a lovely nap until about noon. Sorry, honey, nothing's going to get done around the house tomorrow. Look at it this way: At least I'm being honest?

I lie. I will get something done tomorrow. My husband is in desperate need of clean socks, so at least a load of whites will get done. Haha.

They are predicting snow every day for the next 5 days. I'm not happy about this. I know that this is what winter is supposed to be like up here, but honestly? I think I prefer cold to snow. Snow is just annoying and slows everything down. At least with cold you can be like "Run run run! It's cold! Let's go!" Get your stuff done and then come back inside and hibernate. Snow requires shoveling and getting it in your boots and thus changing of the socks and possibly pants depending on how high your boots are and well yeah... I have decided that I'm not a snow person. Snow used to be this wonderfully magic thing that meant I got to go out and play and maybe, if I was lucky enough, miss school. But now it is just this total annoyance. Ah, to have the wonderment of a child. Jackson looked at my car before Casey cleaned it off and proclaimed it to be a snowman. It was hella cute.

I will now proceed to go make manwich for dinner and bug my husband for more TV time (he's playing XBox).