Friday, January 19, 2018
Something smells fishy....
I was a wreck yesterday. Crying, snot, the works. It was ugly. The funny thing is, I finally got a decent amount of sleep and I wasn't tired when I woke up. And then the phone calls started. With the phone calls, accompanied the lying. The later in the day, the crankier I got. The crankier I got, the more I wanted to cry. I felt useless and like I was not winning at whatever game was being played.
Casey said to me yesterday that I'm waiting for that whole "AHA!! I CAUGHT YOU FUCKER!" moment with the retirement community. Seeing things clearly (or maybe not quite so clearly yet), I'm definitely wanting that "AHA!" moment. It's not that I want a monetary gain from this, I just want what every woman wants - to be told that we're right. I want them to admit "You're right, we aren't equipt for this. Never were, never will be." That's all I want. I also want them to admit they're completely understaffed and that as much as they're saying they are, they totally are not.
Have I got you saying "But Jess, what happened?!" yet? No? Well, this is the part where you find out anyway.
I woke up yesterday, watched some kitten videos on facebook and my phone rings. It's the assisted living facility. My heart always gets a little thump-y whenever they call. I'm always worried that they're going to tell me that my mom has injured herself or something worse. While she hadn't injured herself (this time), it was slightly worse.
Backstory: a few weeks ago, I got a call from one of the nurses letting me know they had to stop my mom from walking out the door to go to Meijer. My mom had gotten it into her head that she wanted Tostito's chips for some reason or other. They stopped her, but called to let me know that they had done so and that she was agitated. Honestly? I would be too if I couldn't get my chips and salsa on. The difference is, though, the whole dementia thing. It's not safe for the woman to be wandering around outside. This kicked off the whole thinking about switching her to a specific memory care facility. I started doing the research and got on the waiting list at two facilities that I had decided were best for her.
Fast foward to yesterday. The nurse calls and says that I need to be made aware of certain things. She says that the night before my mom "ran" outside in her nightgown to get the maintenance man to fix her tv (she couldn't turn it on). It was 15 degrees outside last night. Not the smartest thing to do to be sure. The story didn't end there. Yesterday morning my mom had been found standing outside dressed in pajamas and her coat and boots, waiting for the bus to go to her hair appointment. This was apparently around 9am. Her hair appointment was at 1pm that day. The nurse then went on to explain that the director of nursing was suggesting that I hire someone to essentially babysit her during the day. To which I was like "Um, isn't that your job?" Why are we paying so much money for an ASSISTED LIVING facility if they aren't 100% assisting? I told the nurse thank you for letting me know, I understood that it was a safety thing but a conversation like this needed to come from the director of nursing herself. The nurse was quite taken aback but agreed.
Ten minutes later, the nursing director called. She apologized and then went into her spiel that it is a safety issue, blah blah blah, that they had tried to stop her from going outside but she's so fast and couldn't stop her. And that was when I about laughed. At the time I was laughing more at the my mom being so fast bit than anything else. I told the director that if they wanted me to hire someone that I needed something in writing.
Two hours later, the director calls again. She's all "I'm so sorry, I feel horrible about this..." So why are you calling to rehash this lady? She then says "If so and so hadn't been coming in, we wouldn't have known she was outside. There's no telling where she could have ended up. We had no idea she was outside..."
Half an hour after I got of the phone it hit me... "...we tried to stop her from going outside, but she's just too fast..." "...found your mom outside this morning..." "if so and so hadn't been coming in, we wouldn't have known she was outside..."
SOMEONE IS LYING TO ME ABOUT THE CIRCUMSTANCES. I had laughed during an earlier conversation because the director said there was someone at the nurses station at all times. I can't count the number of times that I've been in and there is NO ONE at the nurses station. Not only that, but these people are supposed to be checking on my mother EVERY HOUR. But then, the director herself says they wouldn't have known she was outside?! WTF is going on there?!
Just writing this is making my brain hurt and my anger boil beneath the surface.
Thankfully, I also got a call yesterday that an there is an opening at the secured memory care facility. The movers have an opening on Jan 29th. SO, now I have to plan a move in a week. Yep... That's what I've got to do. Oh, and there's the whole telling my mom thing, too. This is going to be a fun weekend.