Thursday, August 09, 2007

Dream of a Pregnant Insomniac

The past few nights I've been going bed really late.  By late I mean after midnight and even then I don't feel really tired, I feel more bored than anything.  When I finally get to sleep, which generally happens fairly quickly, I end up waking up within a couple of hours having to make a bathroom run.   The few nights that I have been able to sleep through the night, I actually wake up and brag about it.  I've discovered, though, that the best time for sleep for me is between 5:30AM (which is when Casey's alarm goes off) and 9AM.  It is generally the most restful time for me.   

Yesterday's events inspired a very strange dream for me, though.  Yesterday I finished up school supply shopping for Lily and purchased a few new shirts for Lily's uniform.  In my dream, Lily and I were shopping at Kohl's, just as we did yesterday, only this time I went into labor, right there in front of the school backpacks.  The labor and delivery seemed to go rather rapidly since they couldn't move me from the store for some reason.  After delivery, the manager came up to me as they were putting me into an ambulence to take me to the hospital.  He told me congratulations and told me that baby Jack would be supplied with clothes for life just because I had given birth in the store.    I told Casey about the dream this morning and he laughed and said that we should take a trip to Chicago and try going into labor in the Apple Store.   My sleep reaction: yes, I want to go into labor 100 miles from home. 

In other news, I am growing increasingly anxious about giving birth.  I watched half a dozen videos last night before I crashed and as I watched I felt myself getting more and more nervous.   Casey told me last night that I'm doing really well as far as how I'm handling everything.  He says I don't seem nervous at all.  I think he jinxed me. Ever since he said that, I've been growing increasingly nervous and thinking "I'm not ready for this!"  I know I can do it, I've been through this whole child birth thing before.  It's not the easiest thing but it certainly is one of the more natural things as far as life is concerned.  Not only that, but it's not like I'm giving birth at home with no one but Casey around.  I'm giving birth in a hospital with lots of doctors (unless something like 28 Days Later occurs). I'm going to have an amazing husband holding my hand!  And yet, I'm starting to panic... the words oh crap oh crap oh crap keep going through my head.  The tough Jess bit of me is saying "Suck it up, wussy! You're tough!"  I think I'll adopt that as my mantra until Jack comes. 

I think I'm going to go take a nap now.  I find myself having a case of the dropsies at the moment.  A nap is definitely in order. 

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