Author's Note: Unfortunately, I have never met Nathan Fillion in the flesh. If I ever did, I would probably utter a sound in the "squee" family and proceed to fan-girl out like nobody's business. I would probably also profess my undying-fan-girl-love for him, stating that I loved him way back when he was on the show "2 Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place" (later shortened to "2 Guys and a Girl.") which also introduced me to Ryan Reynolds even though Mr. Reynolds I actually remember from the original Sabrina, The Teenage Witch movie featuring Melissa Joan Hart. Now that I have sufficiently aged myself, which I will undoubtedly do further as I re-read over this post, written at 4:13am, I would like to add in an apology to Mr. Fillion if I embarrass him with this post. Although, somehow I am pretty sure he hears worse.
Also, did I mention it's like 4 in the morning? Yeah... haven't slept, can't sleep, took 2 xanax which should have had me snoring away like my lovely wife is currently doing, but did absolutely nothing but quiet the dull roar in my head, so yeah... y'all are going to get this wonderful piece of whatever....
xoxo Jess
It is widely known that I am a happily married 46-year-old woman and while I have also been known to have extremely odd dreams from time to time, it has been quite a while since my mind, let's say indulged, in a dream of the naughty variety. Especially, a dream that when I woke up from, I felt ridiculously guilty about.
As a geek/nerd/whathaveyou, I'd had my fair share of Marvel Men parade through my mind. I've had adventures in the TARDIS with the Doctor (numbers 10 and 11 primarily). I have had amazingly lovely dreams featuring the most Magic of all Mike's doing a dance just for me - something I'm brave enough to go see but not actually brave enough to experience myself personally. I'll watch from the sidelines as others get thrown around in that special way, thank you very much. My dream last night, however... And throw in the amount of guilt I felt once I woke up?
I would be lying if I said that I didn't instantly try and go back to sleep the moment I woke up. Not only did my eyes popping open instantly make me want to fess up (which, why I so desperately wanted to do because I felt guilty over a dream, that really makes no sense to me) but I also wanted to disappear back into dreamland and enjoy myself even more.
The dream mostly took place at the Joyce Center on the University of Notre Dame campus. I was familiar with the layout and have been to several shows and conventions there. I'm fairly sure this was a comic-con type event and I had been eyeing an incredibly attractive Nathan Fillion sitting at his booth, signing autographs for fans from across the convention floor. Every so often, my view would be obscured by a random cosplayer or other con attendee.
In my dream, there was a familiarity between us. I had absolutely no problem going right up to him as casually as I would an old friend. I was thrilled to see him, and the fact that he was visiting my old stomping (or rather, rollerblading) grounds? That was pretty awesome to me. Perhaps the fact that I was so familiar with the building and the area added to the familiarity and allowed my brain to make the jump that we were old friends? The backstory was not exactly obvious in the dream but I will say this much - the chemistry was palpable.
When Mr. Fillion finally took a break from greeting his fans, I walked up to him, heart beating wildly in my ears, and waved a slight hello. Mr. Fillion was quite happy to see a friendly and familiar face and the two of us headed off campus to grab some food. The awkwardness quickly dissipated and we enjoyed catching up with each other as we grabbed food from a food truck at a park near the St. Joseph River. We talked and laughed and things just... Escalated.
I was hesitant, but we both knew that I could use a "hall pass" in this particular situation. I fought my feelings for a bit, not wanting to give in but just as we were going to return, the gallant Mr. Fillion reminding me that it was okay and that we were, above all else, friends; I gave into my baser instincts, turned and kissed him with all the passion I could muster.
"Oh, we're doing this?" He uttered, kissing me back and wrapping me up in his arms. Struggling to free each other from the confines of our clothes, my eyes fluttered open.
I groaned for two very good reasons. Reason one: my eyes were actually open. I was staring at the ugly popcorn ceiling of our bedroom. I was annoyed, upset, and feeling all at the same time. Reason 2: The dream was just starting to get really good. Could I pretty please go back to sleep and continue with the dream?
I knew the chances were slim to none, but I rolled over, ignoring the clock that said it was way past time for me to get up and actually do something productive for the day. I wish I could say that I managed to drift back to sleep but unfortunately, I'm not that lucky.
Normally, I'd be embarrassed to post something like this, but frankly due to the hour of the morning and the aforementioned fact that I'm not only 46 years old and happily married, I can confidently say that I have reached that part of my life where I just don't give a shit and I'm going to write whatever I feel like writing. In this case, you get a glimpse into my weird ass mind and what I dream about. Not all my dreams are quite this entertaining. Sometimes, they go off on weird tangents that make absolutely no sense and more often than not inspire some sort of hair transformation. Other times, it's quite tame, like mowing the yard or something completely mundane.
Oh, who am I kidding - mowing the yard is even an adventure for me that can spawn the oddest of daydreams (or nighttime dreams). I definitely would like it if Mr. Fillion would visit my dreams more, though. Even if we were very much in the PG-13 territory, there was fun had that wasn't of the naughty variety and he was really quite charming (no offense to my lovely wife of 20+ years). The funniest part, though? When I did get up and "fess up" to Kacy? She actually asked me for details! She wanted to know what it was like along with a slew of other "inappropriate" questions that made me blush. I unfortunately didn't get that far.
But hey - if I ever get the opportunity (not that I would actually act on it because I'm a great big chicken), I'll try and let you know. Honestly, I'd love to just have coffee with the man and talk about all things geek. I'm all about making new friends. So, how about it Mr. Fillion? Wanna be friends? And I can promise with absolute certainty, that is all that it will ever be.
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