Tik tok tik tok...

Once again I find myself up in the middle of the night (it is currently around 2:45am) and while I actually did go to sleep at a somewhat "decent" hour (11:30-ish in the pm), I woke up when I heard the toilet in our bathroom flush and Kacy crawled back into bed.  That was an hour ago.  When I woke up, I just happened to be sleeping in a pool of sweat.  I missed my HRT shot last week and I feel like I'm dealing with a bit of backlash from my body because of it.   I don't like this one bit.  Or maybe my body just isn't meant to be on the standard sleep at night schedule? 

I keep thinking that maybe I should take a lesson from my kiddo's playbook.  They all have their own weird schedules but it seems to work for them.  The two that are in school get fairly decent grades (one of them is in AP Honors classes and the other is in advanced/gifted classes) and they will stay up late, go to sleep when they feel sleepy, get themselves up for school, come home, do homework, take a nap until around dinner, eat, stay up a little more and crash.  I learned a while ago, especially with our youngest, that the standard bedtime schedule did not work for her.  That particular kiddo slept in 2-4 hour increments her first year of life and there were several times that she would be up and wanting to play at 2am.  I know they say screen time is bad for kids that young, but holy hot hannah, I had never been so grateful for the Disney Jr. channel when I would be up with her.  We would stay up until around 8am, getting her siblings on their school buses and then it would be cuddle time and we would take a nap.  

I would do the same now, even though the kids are older and are fairly self sufficient, but if there is anything that I want to do outside, well... It's May 1st, we live in Florida and it topped out at 94 degrees today.  You have to get stuff done in the morning if you want to do anything outside.  The upside of it being in the 90s in the afternoon is that the pool is starting to get up to a swimmable temp and I have a feeling that in the next couple of weeks, we will be enjoying an afternoon dip after working in the morning.  

Unfortunately, I'm not quite sure what to do with myself in the wee hours of the morning.  I can't necessarily call potential clients.  I can get a lot of emailing done and I can line up things that I need to do, but for the most part... I feel lost at this particular hour.  It feels like anything I do is not the most productive? I'm not even sure that makes sense, but whatever... I'm sure that is just guilt for not conforming to what is considered "normal."  I guess I could say that it's just another reason why I'm in therapy.  Ha! 

So, what am I going to do now?  I have no idea.  I'm about due for a desk reorganization.  Maybe I'll start planning that.  Maybe I'll go back to sleep.  Maybe I'll work on some flyers.  Maybe I'll write my todo list. I'll do something, and when I'm sleepy, I'll go back to sleep for an hour or two, get up and do the stuff I have planned for the day and then take a nap later.  One thing I do know for sure is that I'm not going to mentally beat myself up for this.