Feeling Off

 It's just after midnight and I can't sleep.  I have tried to sleep, I have dozed off multiple times, I took a xanax, and I'm still feeling uneasy and stimming (bouncing my legs, humming, itching, etc) and can't seem to stop.  I went so far as to take a shower AND a bath and I'm feeling... off.  I can't explain it.  I don't necessarily feel bad but I feel off.  I've had indigestion nearly all day and my day hasn't been a bad one by any stretch of the imagination.  I just feel... off.  

I know, I sound like a broken record.   My Mom used to use that phrase a lot with me: "You sound like a broken record."  The funny thing is, I can't remember why she would say that. I can't remember specific instances to bring up where she said that, but I know she said that to me quite a lot.  

The xanax I took (which was taken about an hour ago) has me feeling quite sleepy but every time I start to doze off, I wake up and physically want to curl into a ball, pulling all of my limbs toward my center and it's like I'm trying to be as small as I possibly can.  At the same time, I can't quite seem to stop bouncing my legs.  I thought better than to stay in bed, not letting Kacy sleep, and have exited the casita and am now hanging out at the computer, debating on either playing some Sims (which I really don't want to do) or watch TV.   I would play on the Game Boy I got for my birthday, but it is currently charging because I ran it out earlier.  

I just wish I could do something or figure out what was bugging me? I keep wanting to blame the indigestion on way too much garlic in a burger that I ate, but I somehow don't think that's it.  It just annoys me that I can't put a rhyme or reason to what I'm feeling.  Could it be the world is in turmoil? Maybe.  Could it be an impending trip to Kentucky that I'm taking this week?  I don't think so- I have a set purpose and know it's going to take multiple trips to and from to accomplish what I need to do.  Could it just be run-of-the-mill anxiety, me subconsciously missing my parents and realizing that I wasn't able to spend my birthday with my Dad for the first time in 47 years? I don't think so, but the brain is a weird place, and there's honestly no telling. 

Ugh.  This just sucks.  And I feel like there is nothing that I can do but sit and bounce.  I need a distraction.