The Little Things

 I bought an electronic box cutter, and my ADHD brain is currently shouting "THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER!"  You see, we have been playing catch-up on getting rid of several months' worth of boxes at our house.  For most of the summer, our area was in a drought.  Florida typically has two seasons: the rainy season and the dry season.  When we first moved here, it would rain every day somewhere between 4:00 PM and 5:00 PM.  You could almost set a watch by it.  

I loved these 4:00 downpours (and they were often downpours). It would rain really hard for like ten minutes, then it would stop, the sun would come back out, and you'd go on about your day.  They reminded me of the aguaceros in Panama that we would experience whenever I'd go with my Mom to visit her side of the family. To me, there was an extra bonus when these little pop-ups would come off the Gulf and smell like the ocean.

Climate change has proved particularly brutal down here in Florida (whether certain people want to admit it or not) and we have been in a drought for several years, leading to multiple burn bans.  Normally, we collect our boxes and since we have such a big yard, we wait until we have a decent amount and have a bonfire.  It allows us to get rid of the boxes and any branches that may fall from the storms (we have several very old pine trees, sycamores, and a couple of really beautiful live oaks, and when the wind kicks up, they can and do lose branches), along with whatever debris we may need to dispose of.  Unfortunately, because of the drought and burn ban, we have been unable to burn anything since around April.  In July, they lifted the ban shortly after because we got three days of rain in a row.  We got some of the boxes burned, but the boxes were still piled up due to the wonderfulness of online shopping and the fact that we can get some things cheaper online than locally.  That really breaks my heart, but in this economy, you save where you can.  

As the boxes continued to pile up and just didn't get broken down and put in the trash (really wishing Florida had mandatory recycling across the board, including for glass - which it makes no sense they don't have glass recycling), they started bugging me.  Both the wife and I would tackle them every so often (her more so than me), but the pile seemed to be increasing - especially after we purchased a cow and got everything back from the butcher.  There were several boxes filled with various cuts of beef that took up a pretty good space in our carport once we emptied them into our freezer.  

The ADHD gremlins run our lives and we are learning that it's best to lean into them.  Do we clean our house? Yes.  Is it absolutely perfect? No, not by any stretch of the imagination.  As an example, I have been trying to reorganize my dresser for a little over a week now.  My clothes are not in the dresser; they are piled on top of it.  I fully intend to get to it by the end of the week. It starts with good intentions... I clean out my side of the closet.  It is too full of clothes that I don't wear anymore and are probably over 10 years old (I am a clothes horse, I fully admit it).  A long time ago I tried the whole Marie Kondo thing where I was like, "This does not bring me joy!" And I pitched it.  Then I lost a bunch of weight (over 60 pounds), and a bunch of stuff didn't fit.  So, old clothes that didn't fit had to go. I gained weight again, in part due to depression and a sedentary lifestyle.  New clothes.  Last week, I threw out two big construction bags worth of clothes that I have not worn in several years, and I still have a couple of drawers to go. 

I know I'm starting to come out of my deep, dark funk simply because I want to do things.  I'm wanting to be creative, and, most importantly, I'm starting to find the joy and excitement in the little things.  For example, this electronic box cutter. 

There are different ways to show people that you love them.  Sometimes, people want romance.  They want flowers, candy, and for you to pull them close to you and kiss them passionately.  Maybe they want to be taken out on a date where you share a meal in a romantic, fancy restaurant.  Some people show that they love you by taking care of you and your family.  They cook, clean, and do your laundry. There are different ways to say I love you, and this morning, I planned one that I don't think has been done before.  At least, it hasn't been done by our family.  

Last night before bed, I told my wife to turn off her alarm and that I would get up with the kids (that's an I love you right there).  She was perfectly okay with that.  She was having some anxiety, so she took a xanax and went to sleep.  My alarm went off at 6am and I got up, fed the kittens, unlocked their door (we have a cat flap that opens to the back patio so they can go in and out of the house), and went and got our youngest up for school (she was already up, and normally is, but I wanted to make sure - teenagers can be tricky sometimes).  After that, I had a bit of breakfast and headed outside to the pile of boxes with my newly acquired box cutter.  

I filled our extra trash bin and took both it and the other trash bin to the curb for today's garbage pick up.  My wife will wake up in an hour or two and find that most of the pile has been removed.  And it's all because of this wonderful little dohickey.  I am so excited about using this tool again to finish this project.  

The trash guys will be here this afternoon, and I'm going to finish the task tomorrow.  My next project, I need to make sure the tires in our tractor are aired up, get some fresh gas for it, figure out how to change the oil and hook it up to my Dad's bushhog, which is sitting in our back yard where a greenhouse used to be (the greenhouse was gone well before we moved into the house, but it's foundation remains).  I want to, by next week, bushhog our backyard because it has turned into an absolute jungle, and I know that my beautiful wife wants to plant a garden soon.  

I'm starting to get more energy to do things.  I'm not pushing myself to finish projects in a day, not even a week.  I'm doing what I can when I can.  I still have to work, and I still want to make sure that I have enough energy so that I'm not burning out. But I know I'm getting better, and to me that's the important part.  The drawer where I keep my mental spoons is starting to fill, and I'm finding them in the most interesting places.  Hopefully, progress will continue.   Actually, I'm sure progress will continue.  For both me and my wife.  It has been a rough couple of years, and a lot has been changing.  It's not just our lives, but the entire world.  I'm trying to look at is I need to protect my little corner of the world and make it a better place to live. That is my goal.  And if some of my happiness rubs off on others, then good on me.  But- a bit of a warning: if you fart on my rainbow, I will come for you.  I will not be polite for politeness ' sake.  If you do something atrocious in my presence, you'll get one warning. After that - well, let's just say I'm protecting my peace and my family's peace.  End of discussion. 

All of this to say I really, really love this electronic box cutter.  Yep.  I think I'm coming back.