4am and the Kennedy Center

Once again, I find myself on the wrong side of 5am.  I had a hard time going to sleep last night.  I am currently blaming it on a combination of doom scrolling (always smart - FYI that was sarcasm my peeps), a brain that just refused to quiet, and some pretty horrible post nasal drip that I really really hope won't turn into another sinus infection.  I'm currently doing everything I can to avoid the whole sinus infection thing, but I am at the whims of mother nature.  This year has not been good for my sinuses by any stretch of the imagination.  

This early morning I find myself curled up on the loveseat in the casita in a position that is already triggering some sciatica, cussing the fact that I have sciatica and really wanting to go back to bed even though I can't sleep and I'm already fully dressed.  So, what's a girl to do when she finds herself in this position?  Well, first she's going to readjust her physical positioning so her back won't bug her so much (ahhhh).  Then, she's going to say "Fuck this aging thing," while looking at pictures of herself when she was much younger yet still equally cute (and my hair is pretty fucking great too), and then I'm going to write about just some of the things that my brain will not shut up about.  AND this time, I'm afraid I'm going to break one of my cardinal rules: "Don't get political on your personal blog."  

If I'm being honest, with the current administration, it was only a matter of time.  I've done the whole write letters to my representatives thing as I was taught.  I have expressed my opinion in various means of social discourse. I have even written to the current President of these United States.  I have participated in and done my civic duty of voting and I have encouraged two out of my three children who are now of voting age to do the same.  We have all researched the various candidates across the political spectrum in our district, made our choices, and cast our vote.  Day after day I see the various things coming out of this administration and day after day I become more and more disillusioned with what this country is becoming.  I am really really tired of watching the stupidity of this administration do something stupid and then say something to the effect of "hold my beer" and do something even more outlandish and stupid in attempts to outdo themselves.  If my Dad were still alive, he would agree with me wholeheartedly that this is not the country that I grew up in, nor is it the country that he grew up in.  

What is currently happening in this country is nothing less than a shit show.  The people in charge are, in my opinion, bargain-basement reality tv actors who have no clue what they're doing. America is now run by corporations with their influencer culture shills filled with dime-store catchphrases that just want to make a quick buck at the expense of everyone else not just in this country but on this planet.  I truly believe that the people in charge have also been fed a line of crap from the corporations.  "I'll make you rich, I tell you! Rich! Rich! Rich!"  The disparity between the wealthy and poor in this country is well past a breaking point, the fuse is lit and if it's true what they say about history repeating itself, we are headed for revolution.  

I have known enough narcissists in my life to recognize one when I see it. Not only is the current president a narcissist but I honestly believe that he was never disciplined in his life.  I do not condone violence by any stretch of the imagination and will generally be the first to call someone out on any kind of violent behavior, but I swear I can hear my grandpa's voice in my head simply saying: "That boy needs a good whoopin'."  Not only that, but I truly believe he is in narcissistic collapse because the world sees him as a joke.  He doesn't like it. He acts like more like a Bond villain than someone who is supposed to be the most powerful man in the world.  He's not powerful; he's weak, and he's angry that people are starting to call him out on his endless bullshit. Unfortunately for the rest of us, he was given the keys to the kingdom and we are watching in real time as he tears it down chunk by chunk.  He wants to fill this country with tacky monuments to himself at our expense and while it is costing billions of dollars on the whole, he does things in an incredibly cheap manner.  

The Kennedy Center, I fear, will be demolished if someone doesn't do something quickly about the situation.  He was not happy when he had to take his name off of it and he has demolished things before without actually stopping to do things properly.  Case in point, the East Wing of the White House.  Part of me wonders if the demolition of the East Wing was extreme misogyny and the fact that the East Wing was historically where the first lady had her offices. (Everyone knows he hates and demeans women and it has been reported in the media that he has taken things that our current first lady uses to decorate the White House and moved them out of her perview and into his own personal bedroom.  In my head, I see this very messy bedroom filled with trash and the tackiest decorations that don't have any cohesive decorating style whatsoever. He just takes whatever because his wife liked them and he wants to make her life a living hell.  There are sometimes when I feel like we should completely abolish marriage in favor of civil unions because I feel like marriage is more of a religious thing, but that's a discussion for another day.)

A judge has already stated that he cannot have his name on the Kennedy Center and had it removed, but now he's saying that if his renovations are not done and his name is not returned to the building he's going to demolish it, too?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!  He's acting like a three year old, throwing a temper tantrum because he is not getting his way.  This is where I'm going to get more than a little crass - one day, hopefully soon, he will finally be remembered but I would like to predict that it's going to be for his grave being the worlds largest gender-neutral bathroom.  Seriously.  Fuck him and his administration.  We are in WORSE shape now than we have been since probably the great depression and because of him, we are probably heading towards economic collapse.  

I don't know about y'all, but we're already planning a garden in our yard and prepping for the worst.  Our escape hatch plans have also been put into high gear because I honestly do not know if we will be able to remain in this country in the next few years.  I used to be worried about moving my kids in the middle of the school year but honestly? I think they would get a better education in another state or even another country.  

It's right about now that my Dad would tell me that I shouldn't worry about things like this.  He would say that we have to follow certain rules of engagement - we vote, we write out representatives.  Again, I've done that.  I also do everything in my power to help people less fortunate than me.  I contribute as best I can to the needs of my community.  Every so often I see a glimmer of hope peaking through.  I hear about people just like me getting fed up with his antics.  The rhetoric flows and yet... no one that has any power seems to be doing anything to help fix the problems his administration has caused and no one seems to be stopping his antics.  He is out of control and the checks and balances that are supposed to be in place to stop this behavior, simply refuse to do what they are supposed to do.  

So, how do we fix this?  Do we flip the table, say fuck it and start from scratch?  I believe that's what they did in France way back in the late 1700s.  We are headed down that same track.  The only difference is we have some really cool technology now and companies can build robots. But then, you're probably looking at some sort of sci-fi dystopian future.  Were the great sci-fi novelists like Phillip K. Dick prophets in a manner of speaking? Makes you wonder.  

I have now been writing for an hour and I've got to make sure my youngest is up.  Today is one of those days where I don't think I can be the bouncy, perky Jess that everyone expects.  I'm tired.  No, scratch that.  I'm exhausted.  I have no spoons and I'm just exisiting.  I'm tired of just exisiting.  I know a lot of people who are tired of just exisiting.  Someone needs to tell the people at the top that things would be better for everyone involved if they would just change their current model of thinking and help the people at the bottom.  At the risk of being a super geek, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.  If a persons base needs are taken care of - food, shelter, healthcare, I truly believe a renaissance could occur and be better for the planet as a whole.  

Maybe someone should actually look at that.  Will it be hard to implement? Yes.  But, hell, we've already spent how much in Iran? We don't have money to help the people who really need it but we're okay with going and bombing another country or holding races on streets that aren't meant for racing and other events that only cater to a few people, destroying national monuments? It's fucking ridiculous.  I'm tired of waking up and being like "Now what?"  It's exhausting.  I'm only one person and I'm doing what I can in my own community.  What are the people who we elected to fix this shit doing?